Life as a newly-wed step-mom is both gloriously and overwhelmingly schizophrenic.
Two-thirds of the time my love and I are newly-weds: The giggling romance of never wanting to be apart, the clumsy problem solving, learning each other's moods and patterns, the glorious moments of waking up to smiles of recognition "it's another day being married to you".
The other third of the time I am a mother to 2 wonderful children: #1 is a 10 year old boy; funny, kind, sensitive, creative, and alive to the possibilities of the world. #2 is a 7 year old girl; bright, sweet, artistic, snuggly and as stubborn as an ox.
Time with them is as magical and difficult as all parents have led me to believe. The smiles on their faces when they run to me outside school, the questions about life during quiet moments, the sneaking of a little hand inside mine (from either one of them) when I least expect it, the glorying in new routines that belong to 'our family'... all these are way more precious than gold. The bickering and whining, the poking and blaming, these all come with the territory, what's hardest is trying to overcome the feelings that I have to have everything sorted. Now.
I continue to be surprised at how exhausting all these new ways of being are. Then I raise my eyes at myself, ruffle my own hair, and remind myself "of course..."
